My blogging streak continues thanks to my friend's laptop and abundance of time. As many of my closest friends know, I am suffering from many phobias. The most notable amongst them is examphobia. I am 28, happly unmarried and an accomplished (don't take it seriously) journalist. Still, the fear of failing in exams returns night after night. The genesis of this fear can be traced back to my engineering days.
Till my higher secondary days, I was a very sincere student. When I was in 10th standard, I used to think that I have it in me to be amongst the top 10 students in my state. It's a different matter that it never happened. But, I was very confident about my abilities in those days. My confidence reduced from top 10 to top 1000 by the time I reached 12th standard. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got admission in one of the best engineering colleges of my state. And the downhill journey began...
Exam after exam I continued to fail. The fear of facing exams became intense with each passing year. It took me six long and painful years to complete engineering. The memories of those paniful days still linger. My confidence was at an all-time low in those days. The fear reduced a bit when I joined journalism. However, the wounds never healed completely.
Just a night before, I had a nightmare. I am in the 12th standard. I haven't yet started preparing for my maths exam. All my friends have completed the entire course. It's a hopeless situation and I am destined to fail. My heart starts beating fast. That familiar pain and anxity revisits. Suddenly I woke up from my sleep and after 2 minutes I realised it was a dream. I remember I cleared maths exams in 12th standard some 10 years ago with decent numbers.
I am now working and no longer need to face any exam unless I decide to change my job. This is one of the professional hazards of being a journalist. Every time, you try for some job, you are asked to give a test. This is one of the reasons I don't like to change my job in a hurry.
Till my higher secondary days, I was a very sincere student. When I was in 10th standard, I used to think that I have it in me to be amongst the top 10 students in my state. It's a different matter that it never happened. But, I was very confident about my abilities in those days. My confidence reduced from top 10 to top 1000 by the time I reached 12th standard. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got admission in one of the best engineering colleges of my state. And the downhill journey began...
Exam after exam I continued to fail. The fear of facing exams became intense with each passing year. It took me six long and painful years to complete engineering. The memories of those paniful days still linger. My confidence was at an all-time low in those days. The fear reduced a bit when I joined journalism. However, the wounds never healed completely.
Just a night before, I had a nightmare. I am in the 12th standard. I haven't yet started preparing for my maths exam. All my friends have completed the entire course. It's a hopeless situation and I am destined to fail. My heart starts beating fast. That familiar pain and anxity revisits. Suddenly I woke up from my sleep and after 2 minutes I realised it was a dream. I remember I cleared maths exams in 12th standard some 10 years ago with decent numbers.
I am now working and no longer need to face any exam unless I decide to change my job. This is one of the professional hazards of being a journalist. Every time, you try for some job, you are asked to give a test. This is one of the reasons I don't like to change my job in a hurry.
