Bloody hypocrites

I seriously hate them. Fuckers. Those hypocrites. I hate them from the bottom of my heart. Not just bottom, from every part of my heart. They have problem with everything.

Here is a girl from a poor family, doing item songs and trying to carve a niche for herself. But, they will not a miss a single opportunity to degrade her. You may be wondering what I am blabbering. Well, I am referring to Rakhi Sawant, the “item girl.”

This so-called “intellectuals” have no problem when Aishwarya Rai or Sushmita Sen will do an item number. They will call it artistic, aesthetic, and what not. But, when Rakhi Sawant does the same thing, they will call it raunchy. Why?

These days all the mainstream actresses are more than happy to do item numbers. All of them are shedding their clothes. So, it’s rubbish to say Rakhi Sawant is vulgar and wear skimpy clothes.

Just saw Rakhi’s old interview on “just Pooja” on Zoom. Hostess Pooja Bedi, who herself reveals as much as she can, was asking Rakhi all sorts of non-sense questions. She was taking a high moral ground as if she is a saint. Heights of hypocrisy!!!

Funny days are here again

Indeed funny days. Both blogger and orkut are showering all kinds of compliments. My today's fortune in orkut says, "You are a person of culture." Nothing can be more flattering than this. Even my most generous mother doesn't think so. My friends must be laughing their hearts out. Just a couple of days back I deleted one of my comments on blogger. The message pops up, "This post has been removed by the author." Never in my wildest dreams, I thought that somebody, even a system generated message, will call me an author. Not just that, hold your breath, some of the most generous visitors to 20box are enjoying the posts. They are even advising me to write a book. Well, what to say? I am speechless.

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon. I love this city man. It's a paradise for lazybones like me. The climate is extremely friendly. You can sleep anytime in the day. It rains all the time in Bangalore. The rain also has a pattern. Mostly it starts in the evening. People here do business on their own terms and conditions. Just a faint cry for strike and the entire city will come to a halt. Not even a single shop will remain open. You can order tea and spend hours in a restaurant with your girlfriend. Nobody will bother you.

The other day somebody asked me to play online chess. To be honest, I am not even an average chess player. I used to play chess to increase my patience. People say it's a game for intelligent folks. May be true. From the very beginning, I knew I have limited mental capabilities. Therefore, I never tried to improve my game. I used to play chess only to spend time with a good friend talking all kinds of nonsense. Tea and snacks breaks in between. How can one do that online?

one year and one hundred and one posts.

20box is a year old blog now and this is the post #101. i dont know whether this is a success or faliure but pathetic bloggers are still around and busy writing all kind of nonsense posts and comments here. may be their goal is towards 'self' destruction. everything is same as it is in phursatgunj. they dont care what we write on this blog and even we dont care what we write on this blog. Dr. Ranjit saheb is here for two three days. we are going to enjoy kalubhai's tea in the evening. he is still the same great ranjit singh who left phursatgunj. he is a living legend. a moving mountain. mumbai is too big a city for this great soul and still somehow he managed mumbai. great kharchoo's abduction is the talk of the town in phursatgunj. even masi at milind nasta centre is very much interested in this great souls safe return. anyway he will be back by the evening. this morden day gandhi is not interested in gandhigiri anymore. nikhil is busy with his exams and orkut. i have not done anything since eternety now.

i will try to be online on gtalk in the evening, if pathetic connection allow will allow me to do so. i have changed color and fontsize of this blog so it is more eye-friendly now. i will be back soon. Amen.

Long live laziness, Long live brotherhood.

20box and pathetic bloggers

Off late so many funny things are happening. I can’t stop laughing. The traffic to our lazy blog has increased many folds. Guess people don’t have anything important to do in life. Pathetic bloggers. Not just that, they are even appreciating the work. Can you beat this? People have so much time in this country that they can go to any extent. It baffles me how anyone can appreciate the crappie writing in this blog?

Some people are even advising me to write a book. Heights of stupidity!!! I can’t write even two paragraphs and they want me to write a book. Wait, there might be something else. They are thinking that we are utterly stupid and nobody can beat us in stupidity. In that case, it’s perfectly alright. The writers (only blogger thinks so) in this blog are really stupid. Their life is full of comedy.

My sincere advice to all those who have recently started visiting this blog. If you really want to read something, read some good books. There are so many good things to do in life if you have abundance of time.

from hashish to peace: afghan problem's solution.

Prostitution is a big problem in united states of america. it is widespread and closely connected with the other crimes in america. united nations report says that during the first world-war prostitution was flourished in northen america and now become a major problem for US government. except the state of nevada prostitution is illegal everywhere in the united states since 1915 when white slave traffic act was passed. but still today prostitution is the biggest unorganized sector business in US. now as bush is busy with the war in iraq and afghanistan, being a global citizen it is my duty to suggest him the most probable solution of this age old problem. by just accepting this model he also can get rid of the prostitution problem in US. for last one year i am thinking about this solution and now i think it is worth a try atleast so i have posted it here for the benefit of our globally concerned local citizens.

first of all we have to go back into the roots of the afghan problem and how all that began. we all know that the root word of english word assassin is hashish. who were these assassins (hashishsin)? we have to go back to 11th century's afghanistan to know who were they. They were members of a secret Islamic order originating in the 11th century who believed it was a religious duty to harass and murder their enemies. The most important members of the order were those who actually did the killing. Having been promised paradise in return for dying in action, the killers, it is said, were made to yearn for paradise by being given a life of pleasure that included the use of hashish. From this came the name for the secret order as a whole. and after that war never stopped in afghanistan for 1000 years. war is on in afghanistan since 1978 and more than 1 million people have lost their lives or now living as refugees in pakistan and some european countries. so called northen alliance and russia was also in power for sometime in afghanistan and they were no better than their previous rulers. now US is doing the same thing without much hope and outcome. war is on between pathans and non-believers also. for last 10 centuries soil of afghanistan is bloody red. but now with my lazy vision everything can be changed within few months. but how??

instead of american army bush should send all the prostitutes to afghanistan. after 1000 years of constant war and struggle afghans and pushtuns are tired now, they need a change and mr. bush can be their saviour. they want to relax, dance and enjoy company of women. they no more want hashish, all they want is peace. by sending all the prostitues in afghanistan bush can also get rid of the local problem of crime against women and trade of white slaves. this is the most easy and wonderful solution. and in return bush can also earn billions of dollars in revenue. a new kind of hippy-afghan culture can flourish in afghanistan. there is nothing except the hindu-kush range of mountains in afghanistan and US should stop sending their forces to climb those mountains. nepal is a better and safe place to play such adventure sports. human right activists in US will also be very happy if the forces from afghanistan will be called back. memories of vietnam is still in their minds, they know soldiers or rebels in poor countries fight better than the best equipped US soldiers. so many problems can be solved by just taking a single step towards peace. and as lao tzu says that single step can be a journey of a million miles. United Nations can act as catalyst to prostitutize afghanistan. because of the limitations of the languages around the world i am forced to use such a ugly word for such a beautiful act. this is the only possible solution of war in afghanistan and anywhere else in the world. "from hashish to peace" can be the new age mantra of the hyppi-afghan culture if mr.bush gives a second thought to my solutin model. over to you mr. bush....

from hashish to peace, long live laziness long live brotherhood.

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Mother, my love

Those who know me well know that I am an extremely emotional guy. Anything can trigger pain in my heart. But, one sure thing is memory of my wonderful mother. For me, all mothers are wonderful. Blessing from God. I hate all those people who don't respect their mothers. It's a divine moment when a mother holds her baby. Different people have different opinions on who they consider as the most unfortunate person in this world. I am absolutely clear on this issue. Those who haven't received mother's love in their childhood are the most unfortunate ones for me. Everything else is secondary.

I am a spiritual seeker and take most relations in a detached manner except one. It's damn easy to make me cry. Just play a song which describes separation from mother and I will cry. Even when I am dead drunk, I desire for my mother. At this very moment, I have suddenly become sad. I respect my father, but I love my mother. I don't have that feeling for my father which I have for my mother. Though he has done a lot for me, father comes after some of my friends.

Mother has always stood by my side. No matter what. She knows that I smoke. She knows that I drink. I eat non-veg. Mind you for my Gujarati Vaishnav family, that's a big deal. She has always supported my crazy ideas. She was their when the entire world turned its back. Words can't describe her selfless devotion. Mother is very beautiful. No she isn't good looking in a conventional manner. But, for me her beauty is beyond words. She is my living God.

I always tell my friends that this is my last birth. But, if God wants me to come back again on this earth, I want only one thing. My mother.

Lovely nights

All nights are lovely. But, these days they are even more special. At the moment I am alone in the "Virgin House". Liquor is flowing like water. At my feet are two half filled bottels of Smirnoff vodka and Bacardi Rum. MTV is playing non-stop indi pop songs. I am feeling sleepy. Time is moving slowly. Everything is serene. Just a little noise here and there of passing vehicles. Getting up to fetch my ciggarette packet. Lovely night and ciggarette in my hand!!! Can't ask for more. Empty Kingfisher premium can is my astray. Dilipp hasn't arrived yet. No need to go outside the room and smoke. Blogging and orkuting. Friends in phursatgunj haven't come online. They are strange creatures. Words can't describe them.

I wanted to write something about my roommates. But, thanks to Anup, I can't. He is a dangerous guy. My secret blog is no more secret. Now, I have to remain extra careful while writing something on 20box. This is curbing my freedom of expression. Feeling extremely sleepy. Good night!!!

Exam nightmares

My blogging streak continues thanks to my friend's laptop and abundance of time. As many of my closest friends know, I am suffering from many phobias. The most notable amongst them is examphobia. I am 28, happly unmarried and an accomplished (don't take it seriously) journalist. Still, the fear of failing in exams returns night after night. The genesis of this fear can be traced back to my engineering days.

Till my higher secondary days, I was a very sincere student. When I was in 10th standard, I used to think that I have it in me to be amongst the top 10 students in my state. It's a different matter that it never happened. But, I was very confident about my abilities in those days. My confidence reduced from top 10 to top 1000 by the time I reached 12th standard. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got admission in one of the best engineering colleges of my state. And the downhill journey began...

Exam after exam I continued to fail. The fear of facing exams became intense with each passing year. It took me six long and painful years to complete engineering. The memories of those paniful days still linger. My confidence was at an all-time low in those days. The fear reduced a bit when I joined journalism. However, the wounds never healed completely.

Just a night before, I had a nightmare. I am in the 12th standard. I haven't yet started preparing for my maths exam. All my friends have completed the entire course. It's a hopeless situation and I am destined to fail. My heart starts beating fast. That familiar pain and anxity revisits. Suddenly I woke up from my sleep and after 2 minutes I realised it was a dream. I remember I cleared maths exams in 12th standard some 10 years ago with decent numbers.

I am now working and no longer need to face any exam unless I decide to change my job. This is one of the professional hazards of being a journalist. Every time, you try for some job, you are asked to give a test. This is one of the reasons I don't like to change my job in a hurry.

Apni "Ektaa"

Enough is enough. I won't tolerate this any more. Though I am against any kind of movement, I can't remain a mute spectator now. The unity of my beloved country is in danger. All the anti-national elements of my country are targeting her. Not only that, the self proclaimed "intellectuals" derive sadistic pleasure by degrading her selfless service to the nation. No prize for guessing. I am talking about the one and only - "Ektaa Kapur", the undisputed queen of Indian television.

Ektaa's K-serials are enthralling the television audience from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and from Porbandar to Kolkatta. You visit any respected middle-class Indian household during 7:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. and you will find atleast one member of the family glued to one of her K-serials. The only other exception which I can think apart from K-serials which unites my diverse country is cricket. For her invaluable service, Ektaa Kapur must be rewarded with the "National Integration" trophy.

She is also single handedly keeping the social fabric intact. Beacuase of her, so many marriages are still intact. Most of the female members of the family are now busy watching K-serials, when their husbands return from work. This is the time when most of the husband-wife fighting used to happen. Ektaa has miraculously solved this problem. No more quarrels. Peaceful co-existence and in many cases revival of love where both husband and wife enjoy K-serials together. No need to visit marriage counsellors, if your married life is going through turbulent times. Just watch Ektaa Kapur serials and your problem is solved.

Her daily soaps are also great stress buster. That's my own experience. I used to watch K-serials after a hard and gruelling day in office when I was working in Mumbai. There is no need to use your brains. No need to remember anything. No need to worry if you have missed 15 episodes. My aunty used to explain me everything in 4 minutes.

Despite all this, Ektaa's critics don't miss a single chance to demean her work. But, the selfless lady is so dignified in her behavior, she takes all the criticism in her stride. All those Ektaa Kapur bashers should be hanged. Not just hanged, should be tortured till they accept Ektaa as the only saviour of the nation.

Turning 29

It's official. I am 28 years old now. Almost half of my life in this fast deteriorating body is over. Most of my friends are in their 30's and there are no signs that they will "settle down" any time soon. Anyway, I am sure nobody in his right sense will give his daughter to pathetic friends. So the saga of "hopeless baba, pathetic friends" is going to continue forever... Winter is approaching and my beloved phursatgunj is calling. Sabu is busy. It's that time of the year, when the students of technology faculty have to pay for their sins.

On Saturday, we had a office party. After a few drinks, I also went to the dance floor and shook my legs for an hour. These days, on every weekend, we drink. Yesterday, we drank Antiquity Blue, which costs around Rs 635 in Bangalore.

The busy season continues at office. All work and 7-8 hours of sleep, makes my fragile body tired. But, I have no complaints. Few more years and inshahallah I will be totally free.I have also applied for trading account with ICICI. In a few days time, I will start investing in blue chip Indian companies. If it clicks, and God willing it will, retirement from work will be sooner than expected.