29!

extension lobby of S.J. Hall !! one dark alley rather with doors and walls on both sides. there lived a man nicknamed kacchua. during my first few days of stay with this man in room no. 80 of extension lobby i realized that we are going to enjoy each other's company. so lazyman he was that he never ever started any conversation. after ten days of stay together he told me that he was going to Ahmadabad for his office training. and after three months when he came back we were on drinking spree. insolent ideas for model making was his plus point as a student of architecture. once he used cigarette stubs instead of trees in his model of an art gallery. it was a part of his fundamental rights to keep everything in total mess and dirty inside the room as a senior to me and more as a student of architecture. i never revolted because i also loved the way our room was. drinking country wine and then playing 29! with my useless friends was a real fun. Hiren never ever mastered the game like us but he was reliable as a partner. during his final year thesis less time we consumed in creating something new or giving shape to our strange ideas and improving design, and more time we gave to the philosophy of making 'joints' more easily. he had a big 'bong' but we preferred 'joints' more than bongs. Kandisa was our favourite album and we had played a lot of music on his barbarian tape recorder. at the end of the dark age CD players were still a luxury. as nobody in extension lobby was interested in any kind of study keeping volume low was out of the the question. out of fifty only five students in extension lobby were allowed to keep term with one or two subjects and everybody else never cared for their results.

Typical day in our life during those golden days...

7 in the morning

hiren, after rubbing his eye lids for 2 minutes, 'where are the cigis?'

pointing my index finger towards his drawing board, 'they are there', and again leaving my body for next 9hours.

4 in the evening

kamal and kharchoo shouting their lungs out, sabooo.......... let's go to kalubhai.

4:30 in the evening

enjoying tea and sucking four squares with umesh and gang at kalubhai's.

5 in the evening

umesh, busy bathing for next two hours. me, kharchoo and kamal pretending playing cricket.

7 in the evening

again gang up at kalubhai's, nonsense chattering and uninterrupted supply of tea.

8 in the evening

free food at mess, sometimes we pay.

9 at night

umesh and bhatia playing Table Tennis. kharchoo ragging first year kids. kamal shouting as if he was appointed by the university to attend all the incoming calls. me playing chess with kids who don't know how to move their knights and bishops.

10 at night

first round of 29! begins.

12 at night

first visit to the railway station.

1 at night

second round of 29! begins.

2 at night

second visit to the railway station.

3 at night

third round of 29! begins.

4 in the morning

gang visits laari under the bridge and enjoys sadali khaari-biscuits.

5 in the morning

fourth round of 29! begins.

6 in the morning

we leave our body for the first time.

7 in the morning

hiren, after rubbing his eye lids for 2 minutes, 'where are the cigis?'

pointing my index finger towards his drawing board, 'they are there', and again leaving my body for next 9hours.

The Zen Haiku

so cold it is outside that i don't dare to move out at this hour. but i surely shall go to sadali laari early in the morning. it is 3:30 right now and i shall not move out before 4:30. nights are as beautiful as ever here and moon-less dark sky is moaning. may be moon is not brave enough or may be stars are over anxious. unlike moon they never care how dark and cold outside and almost always dutifully appear on the phursatgunj sky. since eternity, it seems, as if i am standing here and watching this stars aimlessly. why do they never burn out? god knows. i feel like drinking country wine today but have to quench my thirst with hot tea only. same night like today's one of the greatest zen poet uttered this beautiful haiku which reminds me how close you are with your real self when you drop your mind and how important it is to drop your mind when you are ready to be drown into the depths of your being:

one cold winter night
i pass through a dark village
a dog barks and barks.

winter is in full bloom at phursatgunj as we are approaching the end of december. begining of 2007 won't be any different as nights will be even colder in january i hope. what am i going to do next year? nothing. might be reading few more books and enjoying life as it is. i have downloaded P.D. Ouspensky's In Search of the Miraculous and few other books by the same author and also have downloaded almost complete works of G.I. Gurdjieff. Glimpses of World History by Nehru is half undone. i also want to download complete works of short stories by Saki(H.H. Munro) if possible. Right now i am reading Reginald in Russia a novel by saki and just took a break to write this blogpost. i need divine intervention more than ever to read all this e-books that i have downloaded. for quiet sometime now i feel that i should write something about my funny and lazy friends. rather i should start the story with my stay at 80 number in S.J. hall with a sloth named hiren. still remember beautiful nights and dark corners of extension lobby of my beloved hostel. Next time will be there with the first episode of the story. till then long sleep lazy satan.

Kalubhai again

about to finish taslima's crap LAJJA-shame. why do they write such books? i think i should follow ranjit saheb's advice not to read such books. grandmother's tale was a good timepass. moving to kalubhai. bye.

KALUBHAI

Christmas celebrations are over in phursatgunj. saint joseph's behind my room is a silent place again now. children are on vacation till 2nd of next year and now lot of peace in my backyard. baba is in banglore now after enjoying long vacation at phursatgunj. i dont have anything to do now so i am moving to kalubhai. just received a message from umesh. going to drink with guptaji tonight. will be back in the morning with more stories till than good bye.

long live laziness, long live brotherhood.

LAZY KIYA RE

I wonder why humans have progressed (worldly) and above all what they have derived out of it. Come and see life in Phursatganj and Pensionpura, people here are like king and live life at its fullest and is contemprory best. They enjoy life without bothering about modern gadgets, machines and new technologies. I am writing this perhaps because I have just came from Phursatganj so there is still a hangover. In my two weeks of holydays, two days stay in Phursatganj was most memorable one. The ambience of that place is intoxicating. The air has magic, which soothed my soul. I still relish the memory of KAKI's food, having delectable Parathas and mixed vegetables. Her tea was also like Nector. Unlimited Chach which we had there was also like Somaras. It was so nice to see our middle aged BUDDIES lazing for hours in the room watching OMKARA movie and having intense discussion various unproductive and irrelevant issues. I am looking forward to visit this place soon again. I hope we will gang up again in March 2007.

Desert Storm

writing something in the afternoon is really odd for me. the idiot is a one mammoth book and, so to speak, is going to kill my time for next few days. first time after 3 months i am out of phursatgunj, that too some 500 kilometers away from the place i love. here i am in kutch, the great bordering desert between India and Pakistan. though it is winter but during the day time temperature is really high here. though i rarely attend marriages but as now i am here, i am going to enjoy all the comedy that happens in a typical Indian marriage. being a lazy man i am not going to take part in the rituals during the marriage, but certainly i am not going to miss the chance to make fun out of the most serious looking situations. i am tired of this long faces around and will take this desert by storm.

within two days i will be back in my beloved phursatgunj where baba and kharchu are busy enjoying laziness. i can not wait anymore now. i will be back soon.

amen.

Dhar expedition...

the serial story of Dhar expedition...folks you have read the first episode in Jan 2006...here I bring next episode....when we arrived at Dhar ...

It was a beautiful wednesday afternoon, as soon as we got down from the bus we saw Gyandoot centre right near the bus stand. The centre was open, we happily walked towards the centre. It was, of course, open but there was nobody sitting inside there. We enquired at the neighbouring shops and found that the incharge-cum-owner is out for a personal work and is expected to arrive soon . We waited for about one hour ,then that fellow showed up. His name was ADDULLA. After revealing our purpose of visit to him, we sought his assistance & guidance and he did obliged us with a great pleasure.

We were in hurry to complete the field job in soonest possible time, so without taking rest or break we headed towards Zila panchayat office(ZPO).This was the place where we were suppose to get all informations regarding the Gyandoot project for which we had come to Dhar. We took a autorickshaw and went straight to ZPO. after primilinary enquiry at the office, we went to the CEO office , after waiting for half an hour we were called in. The CEO was young IAS offficer , who was very straight forward and harsh. He demanded for recommendation letter from the Dean of the college, as usual, I did not had it. We tried to coax him, when he did'nt relented, we pleaded him... but all in vain, he said rules are rules and he cannot not be linient for us. Not his fault he was lakeer ka phakeeer .....finally,when he did'nt relented, we left the office dejected. then we came back to bus stand because we wanted to hire a room in a lodge and in fact, all cheap lodges were located near by the bus stand. After vigorous search we found a small dingy room in a cheapest lodge of Dhar for Rs 60 per day. we took rest for about 2-3 hours.

After the brief nap ,we decided to rush to the nearest village around Dhar for our survey; it was 5 o clock in the evening . After much difficulty we boarded on a bus to go a nearby village called Tirla. But after going 8-10 kms when we asked the bus conductor that when we would we reach Tirla village, the conductor got bewildred and told us that we had boarded on wrong bus. We immediately jumped out of the bus. We had no idea where we were. Then we started walking backwards probably towards Dhar. It was was around 6pm and the roads were deserted, hardly there were any vehicle running on the road. So on the way we enquired about the Gyandoot centre, but there was none on the way.

But soon we realize that our mistake turned out to be blessings as the nature was at its best mood .....birds were chirping ....Anando baba (first line of the poem which never got completed)...sun was at the horizon staring at us, the sky was crimson, cool breeze was blowing , beautiful landscape looked like frozen tides .The view was really mesmerizing... we could not resist the temptation and we started dancing and singing ( virtually)....enjoying every moment and we strolled forward ....on the way we found a beautiful temple of god Hanumanji ( I am a staunch devotee of Bajarangbali, and Sabu propounds the concept of celibacy) we went there for a Darshan and said prayers and took some snapshots. The temple had vibrations of peace and compassion all around. It seemed that god was really residing there.

After spending some time there we resumed our journey. After plodding for about two hours we reached to Dhar, we both were mentally & physically drained. We had no energy left...so how to recharge ourself?? we thought... tadi or quateriya,,,, han....han ...quateriya ...there was clear consensus. That is the only way we could rejuvenate ourself .......so we directly went to the wine shop bought one beer and a DSP quarter. After buying chakhna( biting), we went to our lodge started partying......for about two hours. Then came down to have food. we had it in prachur matra! then again went around exploring the town at night. Then came back to our suite (lodge) and fell on the bed like a log (kate ped ki tarah) and went in comma for about 10 hours....next day kya hua...to be continued

DROP

What to do and what not is not a question any more as i know from now on for almost one month phursatgunj will be switzerland. Temperature is really down now, between 10 and 15 degrees in the night and early morning. No sun for two days now and clouds are everywhere. It seems as if they are in no mood to leave phursatgunj before december. Reading local newspapers at masi's lari is real fun. All kind of jug-heads come and discuss all sorts of things early in the morning. Indian cricket team's poor performance in Southafrica is a much debated topic now. Ganguly is back in the Test squad and that is not going to make any difference as far as india's chances of winning the test series is concerned. May be Indians don't want chappel as their coach and they intentionally underperform. Sachin tendulkar is a legend of the past now. Dear, leave before they drop you. Ganguly is a better captain but i doubt his abilities as a middle order batsman now. he is old enough to play cricket. i advice him to come to phursatgunj and take some rest rather going to SA. You can play chess if you can not play cricket any more, this is my personal experience. Both lara and kambli are better batsman than sachin and sachin should now go to laddakh and should meditate for few years. enough of pajama cricket.

Chennai blues

I was pretty tense on Sunday night as I had to wake up at 4:00 a.m. in the morning to catch the 6:45 flight to Chennai. I barely managed to sleep for few hours and the alarm rang. Unwillingly, I got ready and reached to the Bangalore airport at around 5:45. There was a long queue for security check. It seemed as if the whole Bangalore was going somewhere. The scenes at airport were no different from a small town bus station. Air Deccan employees were shouting for passengers like private bus operators.

My flight was on time. As the plane went up in the sky, I saw an ocean of clouds outside my window. It was a breathtaking sight. We landed in Chennai at 7:45 in the morning. The climate was damp. I hired a pre-paid taxi and asked for the U.S. consulate office. The traffic was moving smoothly. I was busy gathering my first impressions of the city. From the window of my cab, Chennai looked much cleaner than Mumbai. Also less crowded. There were no Hindi signboards except for some government buildings. It seemed to me that the city lacked Mumbai’s frantic pace and energy.

As soon as I reached to the U.S. consulate office, I saw a huge gathering of anxious people. A few minutes of close inspection revealed that they were friends or relatives of the visa applicants. Just outside the entrance of the consulate office, some 90 odd candidates were waiting in the queue. After cursing my luck for about half an hour, I decided to join the queue. Soon, I found out that only those people whose interviews are scheduled 15-30 minutes later need to stand in the queue. My interview was at 1:30 in the afternoon and I had almost three and a half hours left. I started searching for an internet café. But, there was none in sight. Then I saw Café Coffey Day. I went inside and ordered one tea and veg puff. I wanted to spend as much time as possible. But, after an hour I got tired and again went back to the consulate office.

At around 12:00 in the afternoon I joined the queue again. The Chennai heat was merciless. I was also feeling extremely sleepy. My agony lasted for two and a half hours. By the time, I was asked to go inside, I was exhausted.

As soon as I entered the office, I saw people standing in queues in front of 5-6 windows. After few minutes, I was also asked to join one of the queues. In those windows, I think our desi people were screening the documents of candidates. Once that is done, I was asked to go to the adjacent building were Americans were taking interviews.

There was utter chaos. I couldn’t figure out anything. I was asked to go for finger scanning. Once I did that, I was told to go for the interview. The interview windows were just like inquiry counters at railway stations. I stood behind an old couple who wanted to go to U.S. to meet their son/daughter. The interviewer was a funny looking guy with a pony tail. Once he was done with the old couple, he looked up and made some funny expression. I started laughing. It was the funniest interview of my life. Both of us were laughing during the entire interview. Here are some of the excerpts:

Interviewer: “Which kind of food do you like?”

Answer: “Gujarati thali.”

Interviewer: “Do you believe in Santa Claus?”

Answer: “Yes.”

Interviewer: “Have you applied for the visa before (checking something in his computer)?

Answer: “No.”

Interviewer: “Have you gone to our Mumbai office?

Answer: “No.”

Interviewer: “Do you have a twin?”

Answer: “No.”

He also asked me what my job is and why I want to go to U.S. He became very happy to know that I am a journalist and said that he loves journalists. Finally, after congratulating me, he said, “This is going to be real fun.” Don’t know what he meant by that? Is it going to be a real fun for me or for Americans? Nevertheless, I thanked him and came out of the visa office. I immediately hired an auto and reached to Chennai airport to catch the flight back to Bangalore.

During my entire Chennai visit I spoke only few words outside the consulate office. They were: pre-paid taxi, U.S. consulate office, tea, Wills, veg puff and airport.

My Sleeping Pill.

My father was here today. On short notice as usual. I was fast asleep and kharchoo and nikhil was out for a cup of tea at masi's lari. First thing he told me after waking me up was that I should quit smoking now. I don't know when will i be able to stop smoking but I know one thing that I really enjoyed smoking a lot for few years now. It is 4:30 in the morning and I just lit another cigarette. I use laalu yadav's kulladhs as my ashtrays. Prophets Outcast, one toxic book , edited and introduced by Adam Shatz is a collection of letters and articles by famous jew personalities like Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Isaac Deutscher and many more. It is my sleeping pill for quite few days now. I never met a single jew in my life but i think they are strangly interesting people and this is not my prejudice. In his letter to the editor of Filistin(newspaper) in 1931, Einstein says that semitic people of the region should live in harmony. He was against the new jewish settlement (Israel) in the region. rather, he says that, Jews and Arabs can live peacefully without Zionist wall between them (overenthusiastic day-dreaming). He criticized United States (where he found shelter) for that. Aah, i don't care wall or no wall, it is a good sleeping pill. Not going to make any change in phursatgunj. Though a few years back nice pictures of the wall were published in the National Geographic magazine. impressive photography by wandering zealots. Their few mega pixel camera give them a slight edge over my VGA. A narcist photographer i am. Now it is tea time masti. Bye Bye.