March 01, 2009

The lazy Kumar

Our friend Kumar needs no introduction. Before his present incarnation, the last time he came on this earth was in 14th century. It must be a painful experience for this great soul. So, he decided to take rest for the next 4 centuries. Now, he has come back again, obviously without any mission.

Everything around Kumar moves, except him. He is a man with no mission. There is nothing which can inspire him to do something. Inactivity is his prime activity. He likes to discuss all kinds of issues in a leisurely manner. Time moves on, he doesn’t. He never decides, only reacts.

People of all age group love him for being a patient listener to their problems. He offers no solutions, he just listens. They like him for that. He never tries to dominate. He doesn’t look like a man of this earth. He is never jealous. He seems to have no desire. He never tries to impress. He is not artificial. He is steady.
Kumar likes to sleep. On weekdays, he manages to get only 10 hours sleep. This upsets him. He tries to make up for the lost sleep on weekends, but that’s not enough for this ancient soul.

Having missed last few centuries, he doesn’t like to live in a city. He is a man whose soul lives in a village. He doesn’t like complicated things. He doesn’t like to travel by train, bus or for that matter anything. For him, time has stopped in 14th century.

Work irritates him. Computers puzzle him. Technology tortures him. Kumar, oh Kumar.


  1. Long Live Lazyness, Long Live Brotherhood.

    We are all lazy but I don't agree with you when you say that he came on this earth last time in 14th Century. He is much more ancient, almost prehistoric, when nothing was invented. Even villages were not formed. No languages (including hindi) were developed and man used to whistle to communicate a bit, though he never developed that art and still struggling with it. And no one was forced to go to schools no religion was there. When eating, shitting and enjoying was the only way of life.

    And I don't agree with you when you say that People of all age group love him for being a patient listener to their problems. He is not listening at all!! He is so simple that he doesn't even pretend or act that he is listening to their problems. He simply is lost in his own world riding on his train of thoughts which takes him everywhere. While people explain their problems at length he is flying with birds in heaven, singing with angles and apsaras (no pun intended), bathing under a steep descent of the holy water of the fountain of wisdom with his beloved, playing with kids of his age in the gardens of eden, walking with jesus looking at the earth from heavens with innocent mischief in his eyes.

    He simply doesn't know about their material problems and least interested in their talks. But human nature is such that when you don't argue or discuss people think and agree that you are with them because you are not against them. He simply doesn't care about their boyfriends, boss or world war III. The best listener and observer around for those who want to unwind.

    And now how can you expect him to work in a city like Mumbai? Oh god, please help this aging knight of wisdom and accept his offerings and keep away his primitive soul from this earth and keep it with you so that he doesn't have to come back to this earth and fight yet another Battle of Mumbai in 487th Century again.

  2. You are a natural writer. How can you write like this? Though I don't agree with some of the things you have said. But, does it matter? You have said it so beautifully that everything else is immaterial. What a beautiful peace of writing. Take a bow.

  3. When I think about friends and people I know this kind of stuff comes naturally to my mind. If I take proper notes of what they say and write it here it can be even more hilarious, but my poor memory doesn't allow it. Laughter was my message and it was conveyed in proper manner. Hope will make you people happy while you fight your battles in mumbai with more laughing stock. Lot more to come, be ready to roll.

  4. dear anando and 20box,

    i know this post and comment was meant to be fun, but the profane wisdom in them moved me. the peace in my mind now, after reading your thoughts is only second best to reading buddha. god bless you my friends, and i must look up to you for inspirations. i am fortunate enough that anando grace my house with his lotus feet. 20box, i request you to honour me too. ghetu

  5. Lotus feet. Ha ha ha.... Nobody has praised my feet like this before. They have received all kinds of nasty remarks. My feet are dancing with joy.

  6. @ghetu
    Heat is on in Phursatgunj and I am planning a trip to Mumbai, next month may be.


    Take care my friend dancing feet at this ripe age can create joint problems, Enjoy!!

  7. wah wah frds i am enlightened with the kind of talks happening in this platform...this has become a meeting place for all spiritually evolved people who are just my mistake have got into human bodies...

  8. not by 'your' mistake, lazyguru, trust me.

    20 box, you are eagerly awaited at my humble abode.

  9. B and M are very close to each other on QWERTY keyboards and lazyguru is too lazy to identify them as different ones. I am hopeful that heat in Phursatgunj will force me to visit Mumbai soon.

  10. I once had an indian guru but I think I was mistaken about his claims to divinity. I would like to hear from Kumar directly. Not to worship him, because I don't do that any more, but to experience some vicarious or virtual darshan. Perhaps someone of your acquaintance can record an utterance or two of this man and record it here?

  11. Few days after I wrote that comment lazy kumar was seriously injured in the XCVII Battle of Mumbai and fled to Delhi. Soon after that he was admitted to some modern day hospital's intensive care unit and now he is on bed-rest (that is in fact one of the greatest things that can happen to lazyguru) for 2 3 months. He is very busy now reading Ancient History and other very very old books. I hope that he doesn't get well soon and can enjoy more of that not so very bad-rest.

    So we are not with him, Mr. Vincent, and you have to ask him directly to publish his not very popular preachings. He may sound like 10 or 12 year old but that is the problem with the sound of his voice and not his brain. May he shower the flowers of his grace upon you.


  12. ah ... mr. kumar, he observed the comedy called election closely and laughed as usual about the futility of the exercise. but i was told that he was quite dumbstruck seeing the excitement of anando and his interpretations of the indian democracy which he claimed was his original, but was actually written by some other person in a business newspaper reading someone else published in a general newspaper. that person again read ...


  13. People with IQs in 4 digits can not understand what is Politics in India is all about.