November 30, 2006


What to do and what not is not a question any more as i know from now on for almost one month phursatgunj will be switzerland. Temperature is really down now, between 10 and 15 degrees in the night and early morning. No sun for two days now and clouds are everywhere. It seems as if they are in no mood to leave phursatgunj before december. Reading local newspapers at masi's lari is real fun. All kind of jug-heads come and discuss all sorts of things early in the morning. Indian cricket team's poor performance in Southafrica is a much debated topic now. Ganguly is back in the Test squad and that is not going to make any difference as far as india's chances of winning the test series is concerned. May be Indians don't want chappel as their coach and they intentionally underperform. Sachin tendulkar is a legend of the past now. Dear, leave before they drop you. Ganguly is a better captain but i doubt his abilities as a middle order batsman now. he is old enough to play cricket. i advice him to come to phursatgunj and take some rest rather going to SA. You can play chess if you can not play cricket any more, this is my personal experience. Both lara and kambli are better batsman than sachin and sachin should now go to laddakh and should meditate for few years. enough of pajama cricket.

Chennai blues

I was pretty tense on Sunday night as I had to wake up at 4:00 a.m. in the morning to catch the 6:45 flight to Chennai. I barely managed to sleep for few hours and the alarm rang. Unwillingly, I got ready and reached to the Bangalore airport at around 5:45. There was a long queue for security check. It seemed as if the whole Bangalore was going somewhere. The scenes at airport were no different from a small town bus station. Air Deccan employees were shouting for passengers like private bus operators.

My flight was on time. As the plane went up in the sky, I saw an ocean of clouds outside my window. It was a breathtaking sight. We landed in Chennai at 7:45 in the morning. The climate was damp. I hired a pre-paid taxi and asked for the U.S. consulate office. The traffic was moving smoothly. I was busy gathering my first impressions of the city. From the window of my cab, Chennai looked much cleaner than Mumbai. Also less crowded. There were no Hindi signboards except for some government buildings. It seemed to me that the city lacked Mumbai’s frantic pace and energy.

As soon as I reached to the U.S. consulate office, I saw a huge gathering of anxious people. A few minutes of close inspection revealed that they were friends or relatives of the visa applicants. Just outside the entrance of the consulate office, some 90 odd candidates were waiting in the queue. After cursing my luck for about half an hour, I decided to join the queue. Soon, I found out that only those people whose interviews are scheduled 15-30 minutes later need to stand in the queue. My interview was at 1:30 in the afternoon and I had almost three and a half hours left. I started searching for an internet café. But, there was none in sight. Then I saw Café Coffey Day. I went inside and ordered one tea and veg puff. I wanted to spend as much time as possible. But, after an hour I got tired and again went back to the consulate office.

At around 12:00 in the afternoon I joined the queue again. The Chennai heat was merciless. I was also feeling extremely sleepy. My agony lasted for two and a half hours. By the time, I was asked to go inside, I was exhausted.

As soon as I entered the office, I saw people standing in queues in front of 5-6 windows. After few minutes, I was also asked to join one of the queues. In those windows, I think our desi people were screening the documents of candidates. Once that is done, I was asked to go to the adjacent building were Americans were taking interviews.

There was utter chaos. I couldn’t figure out anything. I was asked to go for finger scanning. Once I did that, I was told to go for the interview. The interview windows were just like inquiry counters at railway stations. I stood behind an old couple who wanted to go to U.S. to meet their son/daughter. The interviewer was a funny looking guy with a pony tail. Once he was done with the old couple, he looked up and made some funny expression. I started laughing. It was the funniest interview of my life. Both of us were laughing during the entire interview. Here are some of the excerpts:

Interviewer: “Which kind of food do you like?”

Answer: “Gujarati thali.”

Interviewer: “Do you believe in Santa Claus?”

Answer: “Yes.”

Interviewer: “Have you applied for the visa before (checking something in his computer)?

Answer: “No.”

Interviewer: “Have you gone to our Mumbai office?

Answer: “No.”

Interviewer: “Do you have a twin?”

Answer: “No.”

He also asked me what my job is and why I want to go to U.S. He became very happy to know that I am a journalist and said that he loves journalists. Finally, after congratulating me, he said, “This is going to be real fun.” Don’t know what he meant by that? Is it going to be a real fun for me or for Americans? Nevertheless, I thanked him and came out of the visa office. I immediately hired an auto and reached to Chennai airport to catch the flight back to Bangalore.

During my entire Chennai visit I spoke only few words outside the consulate office. They were: pre-paid taxi, U.S. consulate office, tea, Wills, veg puff and airport.

My Sleeping Pill.

My father was here today. On short notice as usual. I was fast asleep and kharchoo and nikhil was out for a cup of tea at masi's lari. First thing he told me after waking me up was that I should quit smoking now. I don't know when will i be able to stop smoking but I know one thing that I really enjoyed smoking a lot for few years now. It is 4:30 in the morning and I just lit another cigarette. I use laalu yadav's kulladhs as my ashtrays. Prophets Outcast, one toxic book , edited and introduced by Adam Shatz is a collection of letters and articles by famous jew personalities like Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Isaac Deutscher and many more. It is my sleeping pill for quite few days now. I never met a single jew in my life but i think they are strangly interesting people and this is not my prejudice. In his letter to the editor of Filistin(newspaper) in 1931, Einstein says that semitic people of the region should live in harmony. He was against the new jewish settlement (Israel) in the region. rather, he says that, Jews and Arabs can live peacefully without Zionist wall between them (overenthusiastic day-dreaming). He criticized United States (where he found shelter) for that. Aah, i don't care wall or no wall, it is a good sleeping pill. Not going to make any change in phursatgunj. Though a few years back nice pictures of the wall were published in the National Geographic magazine. impressive photography by wandering zealots. Their few mega pixel camera give them a slight edge over my VGA. A narcist photographer i am. Now it is tea time masti. Bye Bye.

November 29, 2006

My Winter Dreams

It is 8:30 in the morning, very clumsy and cloudy outside. Nothing is happening. I went to sadali lari in search of gulshan baba but my search gone into vain as may be either gulshan baba was not there or he left early. Early in the morning suddenly clouds showed up out of the blue. A coconut seller is cracking just outside my balcony. He doesn't know that coconut water is a good antioxidant and can neutralize the bad effects of my all night nonstop smoking. But he surely knows that I am not going to buy his coconuts in either case. Smoking or no smoking, they are as good as nectar. My mosquito repellent coils are effective if and only if I keep door and windows closed. Last soldiers of rebellious mosquito army are trying hard to suck my blood. I just switched off 'the great fan' which swipes under the same speed at all available regulating options on so small and not so user friendly regulator. Uncanny odour of rotten vegetables inside my tiffin-box is still there in my room. My room is a total mess filled with the cigarette smoke.

Wake up kharchoo wake up !! So much pending work to be done. All those oscar wilde stories. Who is going to read it if not you? We know that you are done with the Picture of Dorian gray but other great stories are still there unread. O! the great one please wake up and fill all the empty spaces left behind by the sun-god who is not there today. It is not Sunday today, the great one why you are still fast asleep. Please wake up and let there be light ! It is almost 9 now and still it is dark outside as may be sun-god is afraid of not very dark winter clouds and hid himself behind them. And being a lazy man O! the great is seems as if you are not in any kind of hurry to step into his footsteps so early in the morning. Though sudden change of atmosphere is not going to affect the lazy lifestyle of phursatgunj a lot. But some kind of uneasiness in the air is shattering all my winter dreams. The worse I fear is a humid day and even the worst is the rain. oh, rain god I pray you not to appear on the phursatgunj skies today. With the noise of your raindrops, oh rain god, not you shatter my winter dreams. oh the rain god, this season you have showered enough of love on the lands of phursatgunj. O the gods of the upper skies, please don't shatter my winter dreams. Amen Amen Amen.

Where is the Great One ??

world is same as it was before 24 hours when i wrote about my picture hunt of gulshan baba. evolution is a long process and it is even slower in our beloved phursatgunj. though i have not done any physical labour, in my lazy life today was really a busy day. still i am not tired and can go atleast to sadali laari for an hour or so. i should not repeat the same nonsense again and again that it is very cold outside and winter is here now and kharchoo is fast asleep as usual. but as i cann't think anything beyond that i have to write it again here. unlearning is more difficult than learning new things. by repeating same thing again and again i sound raucous and rowdy to many who visit this blog more frequently now but that can not stop my nonstop nonsense. just like all my lazy friends i also have very poor memory and don't remember things which i have said. both learning and unlearning has taken its toll. the other day as my usual time-pass i was giving all kind of psychometric tests on few self-procalimed testing sites and the results were really funny. when i finished the test there was a note along with my score on it. even though my score was not bad but there were funny remarks that erupted volcanoes of laughter inside me. (though i can't laugh that loud because i don't want to conform my landlord's doubt that i am a madman.) they said that if i improve my memory powers my analytical capablities (which i think are not there) could be compared with that of the western philosopher plato. ha ha ha ha. but i don't take their advice seriously because i know that at this old age now my memory cann't cope with the fast changing techno-savvy knowledge based world around me. the only thing i like about the results is that they say i can be a good chess player as my visual analysis ablities are above average. whether i will be a good chess player or not that is going to be my favourite time-pass for rest of my life. i can not deny the offer to play that divine time killing game. the most active lazy man nikunj was here today and i played chess with him for 3 full hours. i know his limitations as a chess player but can not deny his love for this great game. our boodhi samarpan baba was also here and he visits my phursatgunj kholi more often now as his exams are over. nowadays he regularly goes for the evening kundalini meditations and also wants me to join him there in the evening. i am not only lazy but also an old man now. i can not support the ideas like going to dynamic meditations early in the morning but can go for kundalini at least. if he will be here i shall try to go to the meditation center at karelibaug in the evening.

enjoy of typing and now it is time for some tea. let's pray that gulshan baba is there. no more gulshan baba avatars as no graphics can catch his aura. 'Gulshan Baba ki kripa'

November 28, 2006

In search of Gulshan Baba

i am on a mission today. it is 4 30 in the morning and it is really cold out there but it is not going to stop me from doing something which is of the highest importance for me now. capturing gulshan baba in a picture. it is very dark outside and i dont know whether gulshan baba is there at sadali laari or not but that is not going to stop me from going to sadali lari now. i hope that i find gulshan baba and his auto there so that i can reproduce his images for our gulshan baba lovers here. he surely is one of those rare species and very difficult to find whenever you wish. but hope floats. inspite of all adversities and difficulties i shall go to sadali laari right now. kharchoo is fast asleep by now and mosquito hums can not disturb his divine sleep. he told me to wake him up when i go to sadali laari early in the morning. but i think now he is almost dead and about to miss a chance of the life time. my psyche says that gulshan baba will be there today and i don't want to miss this chance. until i find gulshan baba and post his picture here be happy with this avatar of gulshan baba.

November 27, 2006

Intoduction to BABA

Hello friends,
I guess this is my first post on this blog but i promise you some real time fun in this episode. This is especially written for the people who doesn't know lazyguru 20box and anando rocks....
first of all in this episode let us meet Mr. Anando rocks alias BABA by their pathetic friends.
I still remember those days when i was in first year engineering. Since our admission was
late thats why our semester exams were not held up with the other year students. Anyway the point is Anando rocks was having his exams as he was senior of mine and used to study during whole night, and myself a night creature from the begining of my engineering career use to roam with my other first year mates (thats also a story in itself). During those days the so called BABA had a different AVATAR. You can say he was BHAI during those days along with other bhais KULO BHAI, GAURAV BHAI were cheifly with him.
So when the exams were going you can easily see this triology along. They use to have a pathetic looking study material (which i guess circulated for ages) in there hand and rooms scattered every where. And to top them all Anando while studing use to wear a pathetic looking BANDANA which give him a complete gear to become a certifide bhai. Anando damn serious
looking guy in those days use to see you with so much deep penetrateing eyes that those create a panic in anyone who use to make sound when this three people were studing. Months past and their exams were finished but I haven't had my first talk with this guy till then only fierce looking glances which he use to give were adequate.
Then after some time we were going to have inter-hostel tournament and for various games team were been chosen. I was chosen for Kabbadi but i didn't wanted to play so i was denying.
My great people of that time came to me and said that i should have a hostel spirit and should participated, but i refuse all. Then one day Anando with his friends was sitting at hostel porch and on the other side were sitting sports team making commity. As i walked in from outside in was been held up there to force me to participated by sporst moniter, but i was refusing all the way till i heard a gentle voice from the other way saying
"Why I'am not participating and whats the problem"
I looked in the direction of the voice and saw the Anando with the same fierce looking eyes penetrating me deep inside like measuring me up to something and in that terrified moment i said YES to participated.
Time passed and then some how we came to talking terms of HI and HELLO and then slowly was included in there station going circle (via bhoot gali), in thos days bike were not so popular in hostels so we use to go walky-talky. Still this person had some dep influnce on my mind that i was always scared of him.
Then some how his AVATAR changed and he was slowly transforming himself to what that guy is right now. This were those days when I consider that we became friends. We had many adventure among them to name mainly was the riots episode. He love to do nothing and sit endlessly doing nothing but having talking with friends under a NEEM tree. He is a slid guy who can get to anything once provoked but that again is what not everyonce can do it. He has got extraorinary taste in music and sings very well.
Anyways guys now I'm bored of writting and now i shall finish this topic just saying that HE
is a guy of many colours.
Watch out my next episode to checkout HIS pathetic friends introduction.

November 26, 2006

I Love Gulshan Baba ! ! !

Gulshan baba, the great one is back in town. he is full of energy and totally charged now after a long break of one month. his rickshaw is of colour umber red, may be due to rust and dust. but he is alive and full of energy. a fanatic. true follower and a devotee. he defies all the criticism and popular opinion about him. O! great one i always knew that only a place like phursatgunj can nurture such a soul like yours. O! great one please part me from your curse if you don't like what i say about you. O! great one please forgive us, we lesser souls who can not understand your love and devotion for great gulshan grover.

yes yes yes, i am talking about the one and the only fan of great indian movie actor Mr. Gulshan Grover. our very own the bad man-gulshan grover always said that his competition is not with bollywood actors but with the hollywood ones. but no one understands him better than our Gulshan Baba. no one knows what his real name is, but it is of no importance now. enlighten ones often change their names and it is all symbolic. he doesn't much care about his rickshaw and his own body. he is so thin that if he decides to go to brazil and join the modeling industry there, he surely can give those brazilian super (thin) models a run for their money. but he doesn't care as he knows that he is not mere an object of flesh and bones. he is neither educated nor literate i guess, and may be that is why he is not corrupt also. his love and devotion is ture to the core. O! great one, with full respect, i again bow to thee.

great gulshan baba sometimes visits our sadali lari at 4:00am in the morning in search of passengers who are not there as a rule. but that can not stop his frequent visits to sadali lari as he atleast can enjoy a cup of tea if passengers are not there as a rule. it is winter now and temperature is really down early in the morning, but that can not stop him from coming to sadali lari. he has a picture of mr. gullu-the bad man inside his rickshaw and it is written on the back of his rickshaw: 'Gulshan baba ki Kripa' (Gulshan baba's blessings are always with you) even if i write a book about him that is not enough. i can not catch and convert his greatness into the words. even million blog posts are not enough, so here i stop and again bow to you O! great one.

for all those international visitors who dont know about the great gulshan grover. a brief introduction.

Gulshan Grover
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Gulshan Grover (born 21 September 1955) is an Indian actor. He is famous for his role as a villain in many movies. He has also starred in some Hollywood movies. Thanks to him, he was the secret ingredient as a villain to Shah Rukh Khan's action movies' success such as "Yes Boss", "Ram Jaane" and "Duplicate" and all of them starred with Juhi Chawla.

He was the celebrity guest of the Grand Prix of Italy held at Monza on September 10th 2006.[1]


Second “salt movement”

On April 6, 1930, Mahatma Gandhi raised a pinch of salt and declared, “With this, I am shaking the foundations of the British Empire.” Comrades, time has arrived to introduce you all about the second biggest “salt movement” in the history of our country.

Yesterday, I told you about martyrdom of my beloved hair. But, my friend's sacrifice won’t go in vain. I have already launched the second “salt movement” and the results are more than gratifying. The first one shook the foundations of the British Empire; the second one is strengthening the foundations of my falling “Hair Empire”.

After coming to Bangalore, there hasn't been a single day when I haven't cried over the death of my beautiful hair. Some days back, a good friend suggested adding a pinch of salt in water whenever I wash my hair. As I didn’t want to go to a doctor, I thought why not give it a try. And lo! It’s working. The death toll has drastically gone down. The simple gesture of picking up salt has again shown its magical power.

November 25, 2006

Such is life

Cold wintry night. Honking noise of vehicles passing on the nearby flyover. Dinner was good today thanks to new caterers in my company. They are on a trial basis. Don’t know how long the good fortune will last. Roommate is watching some Jackie Chan movie on Star movies. He seems to be enjoying the stuff. It’s in English and without dubbing or Hindi sub-heads. No choice but to blog.

Shortened day at office as today is “Black Friday”, a day after Thanksgiving Day. The coming Monday is called “Cyber Monday”. Don’t know much about all this stuff. Think it’s some retailing gimmick in the United States. Not much work these days as the busy earnings season is over.

The celebration has begun. Two days of leisurely life. Already sipped two pegs of Signature whisky. Half of my life is over, still no girls in sight. But, I am not worried. God is kind. Some miracle is definitely going to happen. My palmistry knowledge says so. Don’t ask me how? Wait and watch.

With each passing day, I am losing my hair. Sad but true. My friends are dying. I can’t do anything but remain a mute spectator. Without a murmur or protest they are silently leaving this beautiful world. Dear Lord, treat them well, they have been loyal for 27 years.

Funny days ahead. Going to Chennai for my visa interview on Monday. My first visit to Tamil Nadu. Don’t think anybody in my family has gone that far down south. Will update you guys once I am back from the Dravidian heartland.

November 24, 2006


it is up and working now. just use the header link to go to lazicopedia and enjoy your laziness. amen.

The Durban debacle

The debacle continues. Rahul’s boys continued their dismal performance in South Africa. Unlike Johannesburg, the rain Gods didn’t come to their rescue in the second ODI in Durban. Indian batsmen meekly surrendered to the South African bowling attack. They made a paltry 91 runs in response to South Africa’s 248. Any hopes in sight? None what so ever. This Indian team is destined to lose both the one-day and test series in South Africa.

We are a country of more than one billion people. Cricket is the only game which gets all the attention in this country. There are only 8 countries which play serious cricket in the world. Yet, we are no where near the top.

The present Indian team doesn’t look good even on the paper. The middle-order is hopeless. They can’t even make 100 runs in a one-day match, only God knows what will happen in the test series.

There is so much politics in team selection. Politicians are running cricket boards. They are least concerned about the game. Big money is involved. The whole country knows about the problems. Yet, nothing is going to happen.

The much awaited Ashes series has also started. However, this time nobody expects anything from England. They are no match to the mighty Aussies. There is no fun in watching those one-sided games.

On the other hand, the mercurial West Indies made a decent come back in the second test against Pakistan after losing the first game in Lahore. Though there are no great bowlers in the current Pakistani team, it’s sheer joy to watch Brian Lara in action.

November 23, 2006

all new 20box up and running

all new 20box is now up and running. after 100 hours of beta testing i have modified this template according to our needs. our old lazypoll and chat box are back in business. click on the header links to open them in popup. and all new 20snaps album is added now. i am going to upload more and more images to 20box flickr so that we can have a nice collection of images here. pictures are sometimes more powerful than words.

fist time rate this blog poll is also added. i know this blog is worth .5 out of 5 so i have not mentioned .5 in the possible answers. dont hurry to vote, play leisurely.

black and white pieces

there are zillions of possible variations in chess and it keeps me busy for the whole night. nowadays i play chess on the FICS servers, they support my pathetic internet connection with lag of 25secs. it is really a great timepass and the best way to kill time. only the ancient indians can invent such a beautiful game. time is the only thing we have in abundance in india, and as the dr.ranjit saheb says that it is really very difficult to timepass, we have invented such a black-&-white game. we are not producing any grand masters but that was not the aim behind our ancestors invention of this great game. and they knew that in the future india is not going to change a lot. undercurrent is the same 5000 years old. chess should be played not to become a grand master but to kill the excess of time you have. dr. ranjit saheb says that in mumbai people dont even have time for themselves, but in a small town like mine i always see people around me doing nothing much. may be that is why dr. saheb never wanted to leave a slow-motion city like phursatgunj. phursatgunj is a place where no one cares whether pendulum swings or not and even if it swings by 360 degree they dont much care about it. when i watch people around me at laaris, at panhouse and joints watching cricket match on 14" TVs, sipping tea without driving any attention, sitting on broken benches smoking bidis endlessly, gossiping for hours as if they understand that they are never going to die, i feel like home. i feel as if i am arrived. chess developed such a patience in me that i can sit for hours and days without doing anything. internet is really a boon for lazy people like us, mitra. you can sit at one place for hours without doing anything just clicking your mouse and stroking keys in between. playing on-line chess is not as entertaining as playing chess on a board with a friend. there is a club named mirzapur footpath chess club in ahmedabad where rickshaw drivers and attarwallahs play chess for endless hours. one should never doubt their patience or ability to play chess as even the best rated players in gujarat visit this club to improve their game and learn new weird supernatural openings. i dont want to discuss chess theory here and dont want to bore you people but i know it is a 'mind-blowing' game.

i am very tired now and dont want to overstress this age old keyboard. i will try to login to gtalk if possible right now so that i can chat with you anando but i think this pathetic connection is not going to allow me to do so.

enjoy your lazyness (MTV Enjoy !!!) and also let me enjoy my lazyness by playing chess. good game sir.

Enjoy your coffee!

As a rule, I treat all those mass mails as spam. But, this one forwarded by a dear friend is so good, I couldn't prevent myself to post it here. Happy reading!!!

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up,leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you Consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee!"

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."

November 22, 2006











MTV Enjoy!!!

I love MTV. It’s my new passion. Listening to non-stop desi albums till the wee hours. Just now, the channel played, “Chandni rate… chandni rate…” It reminded me of my golden days. In those days, I used to sing, “Chandni rate… chandni rate… Sub jag soye… hum jage, station ki aur bhage. Chandni rate… chandni rate…”
Those were the beautiful nights. Hanging out with friends in the night at station. Sitting silently and smoking. Having tea and samosa at Samrat. Going to railway station and checking weight. Playing cards and eating Santosh’s dalvadas. Bhurabhai and Ambika pan shop. Reading newspaper and discussion. Watching hopeless youngsters. The moments when you become alive. The moments when you are utterly dejected. The moments when you are frustrated. The moments when you want the night to continue forever. The moments when you don’t want to see sunrise. Darkness all around. Within and without.

Nothing in this world can replace those beautiful moments. It reminds me another song, “Main kanhi bhi rahun har kadam har ghadi, mere dil main basi teri yaad hain. Meri aankho ki duniya hain suni padi, dil ki duniya magar tujhse aabad hain. Main kanhi bhi rahun har kadam har ghadi…”

November 21, 2006

hi, lazyguru.

hi lazyguru. how are you sir?
i have heard that you have a walkman and a discman with amplifier now and you listen to the 1857 classics at full volume. i and dr. ranjit saheb was talking about all kind of nonsense and how people live in mahanagari mumbai. i think you are not going to face any problems in mumbai as far as your super lazy partner is with you. kharchoo is also here. life is cool and baroda is cold now. winter nights are beautiful in baroda. i always remember you people when i visit samrat in the night with kharchoo. i hope you also will be here in december.

baba is busy writing on this blog and he is more happy now, i think. he soon will be here in this kholi with me and will again discuss all kind of nonsense with me for hours and days. welcome to my kholi, baba.


when i log into the orkut it says 'you are connected to 30 million people through 43 friends' now this is really funny. i don't understand why they want to connect everyone. if i have a login page on my 20box it would be something like this:

Welcome, JOKERS

You are connected to 20 odd fools through 20box.
Grow your network now!

You have table fans.

100000 billion trillion zillion scraps (unreadable format)

Your profile views:
Since Feb '06, 1857: 0, Last week: 0, Yesterday: 0

You have 1998 useless messages.

Next steps:
Don't Invite more idiots to join 20box.
(babadom is a never growing community)

Today's fortune:
You will never need to worry about fools who visit this page regularly now.

20box n/w is a never growing network. all copyrights are left with the middle-man.
thank you for not visiting this blog more often.

November 19, 2006

Bloody hypocrites

I seriously hate them. Fuckers. Those hypocrites. I hate them from the bottom of my heart. Not just bottom, from every part of my heart. They have problem with everything.

Here is a girl from a poor family, doing item songs and trying to carve a niche for herself. But, they will not a miss a single opportunity to degrade her. You may be wondering what I am blabbering. Well, I am referring to Rakhi Sawant, the “item girl.”

This so-called “intellectuals” have no problem when Aishwarya Rai or Sushmita Sen will do an item number. They will call it artistic, aesthetic, and what not. But, when Rakhi Sawant does the same thing, they will call it raunchy. Why?

These days all the mainstream actresses are more than happy to do item numbers. All of them are shedding their clothes. So, it’s rubbish to say Rakhi Sawant is vulgar and wear skimpy clothes.

Just saw Rakhi’s old interview on “just Pooja” on Zoom. Hostess Pooja Bedi, who herself reveals as much as she can, was asking Rakhi all sorts of non-sense questions. She was taking a high moral ground as if she is a saint. Heights of hypocrisy!!!

Funny days are here again

Indeed funny days. Both blogger and orkut are showering all kinds of compliments. My today's fortune in orkut says, "You are a person of culture." Nothing can be more flattering than this. Even my most generous mother doesn't think so. My friends must be laughing their hearts out. Just a couple of days back I deleted one of my comments on blogger. The message pops up, "This post has been removed by the author." Never in my wildest dreams, I thought that somebody, even a system generated message, will call me an author. Not just that, hold your breath, some of the most generous visitors to 20box are enjoying the posts. They are even advising me to write a book. Well, what to say? I am speechless.

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon. I love this city man. It's a paradise for lazybones like me. The climate is extremely friendly. You can sleep anytime in the day. It rains all the time in Bangalore. The rain also has a pattern. Mostly it starts in the evening. People here do business on their own terms and conditions. Just a faint cry for strike and the entire city will come to a halt. Not even a single shop will remain open. You can order tea and spend hours in a restaurant with your girlfriend. Nobody will bother you.

The other day somebody asked me to play online chess. To be honest, I am not even an average chess player. I used to play chess to increase my patience. People say it's a game for intelligent folks. May be true. From the very beginning, I knew I have limited mental capabilities. Therefore, I never tried to improve my game. I used to play chess only to spend time with a good friend talking all kinds of nonsense. Tea and snacks breaks in between. How can one do that online?

one year and one hundred and one posts.

20box is a year old blog now and this is the post #101. i dont know whether this is a success or faliure but pathetic bloggers are still around and busy writing all kind of nonsense posts and comments here. may be their goal is towards 'self' destruction. everything is same as it is in phursatgunj. they dont care what we write on this blog and even we dont care what we write on this blog. Dr. Ranjit saheb is here for two three days. we are going to enjoy kalubhai's tea in the evening. he is still the same great ranjit singh who left phursatgunj. he is a living legend. a moving mountain. mumbai is too big a city for this great soul and still somehow he managed mumbai. great kharchoo's abduction is the talk of the town in phursatgunj. even masi at milind nasta centre is very much interested in this great souls safe return. anyway he will be back by the evening. this morden day gandhi is not interested in gandhigiri anymore. nikhil is busy with his exams and orkut. i have not done anything since eternety now.

i will try to be online on gtalk in the evening, if pathetic connection allow will allow me to do so. i have changed color and fontsize of this blog so it is more eye-friendly now. i will be back soon. Amen.

Long live laziness, Long live brotherhood.

20box and pathetic bloggers

Off late so many funny things are happening. I can’t stop laughing. The traffic to our lazy blog has increased many folds. Guess people don’t have anything important to do in life. Pathetic bloggers. Not just that, they are even appreciating the work. Can you beat this? People have so much time in this country that they can go to any extent. It baffles me how anyone can appreciate the crappie writing in this blog?

Some people are even advising me to write a book. Heights of stupidity!!! I can’t write even two paragraphs and they want me to write a book. Wait, there might be something else. They are thinking that we are utterly stupid and nobody can beat us in stupidity. In that case, it’s perfectly alright. The writers (only blogger thinks so) in this blog are really stupid. Their life is full of comedy.

My sincere advice to all those who have recently started visiting this blog. If you really want to read something, read some good books. There are so many good things to do in life if you have abundance of time.

November 16, 2006

from hashish to peace: afghan problem's solution.

Prostitution is a big problem in united states of america. it is widespread and closely connected with the other crimes in america. united nations report says that during the first world-war prostitution was flourished in northen america and now become a major problem for US government. except the state of nevada prostitution is illegal everywhere in the united states since 1915 when white slave traffic act was passed. but still today prostitution is the biggest unorganized sector business in US. now as bush is busy with the war in iraq and afghanistan, being a global citizen it is my duty to suggest him the most probable solution of this age old problem. by just accepting this model he also can get rid of the prostitution problem in US. for last one year i am thinking about this solution and now i think it is worth a try atleast so i have posted it here for the benefit of our globally concerned local citizens.

first of all we have to go back into the roots of the afghan problem and how all that began. we all know that the root word of english word assassin is hashish. who were these assassins (hashishsin)? we have to go back to 11th century's afghanistan to know who were they. They were members of a secret Islamic order originating in the 11th century who believed it was a religious duty to harass and murder their enemies. The most important members of the order were those who actually did the killing. Having been promised paradise in return for dying in action, the killers, it is said, were made to yearn for paradise by being given a life of pleasure that included the use of hashish. From this came the name for the secret order as a whole. and after that war never stopped in afghanistan for 1000 years. war is on in afghanistan since 1978 and more than 1 million people have lost their lives or now living as refugees in pakistan and some european countries. so called northen alliance and russia was also in power for sometime in afghanistan and they were no better than their previous rulers. now US is doing the same thing without much hope and outcome. war is on between pathans and non-believers also. for last 10 centuries soil of afghanistan is bloody red. but now with my lazy vision everything can be changed within few months. but how??

instead of american army bush should send all the prostitutes to afghanistan. after 1000 years of constant war and struggle afghans and pushtuns are tired now, they need a change and mr. bush can be their saviour. they want to relax, dance and enjoy company of women. they no more want hashish, all they want is peace. by sending all the prostitues in afghanistan bush can also get rid of the local problem of crime against women and trade of white slaves. this is the most easy and wonderful solution. and in return bush can also earn billions of dollars in revenue. a new kind of hippy-afghan culture can flourish in afghanistan. there is nothing except the hindu-kush range of mountains in afghanistan and US should stop sending their forces to climb those mountains. nepal is a better and safe place to play such adventure sports. human right activists in US will also be very happy if the forces from afghanistan will be called back. memories of vietnam is still in their minds, they know soldiers or rebels in poor countries fight better than the best equipped US soldiers. so many problems can be solved by just taking a single step towards peace. and as lao tzu says that single step can be a journey of a million miles. United Nations can act as catalyst to prostitutize afghanistan. because of the limitations of the languages around the world i am forced to use such a ugly word for such a beautiful act. this is the only possible solution of war in afghanistan and anywhere else in the world. "from hashish to peace" can be the new age mantra of the hyppi-afghan culture if mr.bush gives a second thought to my solutin model. over to you mr. bush....

from hashish to peace, long live laziness long live brotherhood.



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Mother, my love

Those who know me well know that I am an extremely emotional guy. Anything can trigger pain in my heart. But, one sure thing is memory of my wonderful mother. For me, all mothers are wonderful. Blessing from God. I hate all those people who don't respect their mothers. It's a divine moment when a mother holds her baby. Different people have different opinions on who they consider as the most unfortunate person in this world. I am absolutely clear on this issue. Those who haven't received mother's love in their childhood are the most unfortunate ones for me. Everything else is secondary.

I am a spiritual seeker and take most relations in a detached manner except one. It's damn easy to make me cry. Just play a song which describes separation from mother and I will cry. Even when I am dead drunk, I desire for my mother. At this very moment, I have suddenly become sad. I respect my father, but I love my mother. I don't have that feeling for my father which I have for my mother. Though he has done a lot for me, father comes after some of my friends.

Mother has always stood by my side. No matter what. She knows that I smoke. She knows that I drink. I eat non-veg. Mind you for my Gujarati Vaishnav family, that's a big deal. She has always supported my crazy ideas. She was their when the entire world turned its back. Words can't describe her selfless devotion. Mother is very beautiful. No she isn't good looking in a conventional manner. But, for me her beauty is beyond words. She is my living God.

I always tell my friends that this is my last birth. But, if God wants me to come back again on this earth, I want only one thing. My mother.

November 15, 2006

Lovely nights

All nights are lovely. But, these days they are even more special. At the moment I am alone in the "Virgin House". Liquor is flowing like water. At my feet are two half filled bottels of Smirnoff vodka and Bacardi Rum. MTV is playing non-stop indi pop songs. I am feeling sleepy. Time is moving slowly. Everything is serene. Just a little noise here and there of passing vehicles. Getting up to fetch my ciggarette packet. Lovely night and ciggarette in my hand!!! Can't ask for more. Empty Kingfisher premium can is my astray. Dilipp hasn't arrived yet. No need to go outside the room and smoke. Blogging and orkuting. Friends in phursatgunj haven't come online. They are strange creatures. Words can't describe them.

I wanted to write something about my roommates. But, thanks to Anup, I can't. He is a dangerous guy. My secret blog is no more secret. Now, I have to remain extra careful while writing something on 20box. This is curbing my freedom of expression. Feeling extremely sleepy. Good night!!!

November 12, 2006

Exam nightmares

My blogging streak continues thanks to my friend's laptop and abundance of time. As many of my closest friends know, I am suffering from many phobias. The most notable amongst them is examphobia. I am 28, happly unmarried and an accomplished (don't take it seriously) journalist. Still, the fear of failing in exams returns night after night. The genesis of this fear can be traced back to my engineering days.

Till my higher secondary days, I was a very sincere student. When I was in 10th standard, I used to think that I have it in me to be amongst the top 10 students in my state. It's a different matter that it never happened. But, I was very confident about my abilities in those days. My confidence reduced from top 10 to top 1000 by the time I reached 12th standard. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got admission in one of the best engineering colleges of my state. And the downhill journey began...

Exam after exam I continued to fail. The fear of facing exams became intense with each passing year. It took me six long and painful years to complete engineering. The memories of those paniful days still linger. My confidence was at an all-time low in those days. The fear reduced a bit when I joined journalism. However, the wounds never healed completely.

Just a night before, I had a nightmare. I am in the 12th standard. I haven't yet started preparing for my maths exam. All my friends have completed the entire course. It's a hopeless situation and I am destined to fail. My heart starts beating fast. That familiar pain and anxity revisits. Suddenly I woke up from my sleep and after 2 minutes I realised it was a dream. I remember I cleared maths exams in 12th standard some 10 years ago with decent numbers.

I am now working and no longer need to face any exam unless I decide to change my job. This is one of the professional hazards of being a journalist. Every time, you try for some job, you are asked to give a test. This is one of the reasons I don't like to change my job in a hurry.

November 03, 2006

Apni "Ektaa"

Enough is enough. I won't tolerate this any more. Though I am against any kind of movement, I can't remain a mute spectator now. The unity of my beloved country is in danger. All the anti-national elements of my country are targeting her. Not only that, the self proclaimed "intellectuals" derive sadistic pleasure by degrading her selfless service to the nation. No prize for guessing. I am talking about the one and only - "Ektaa Kapur", the undisputed queen of Indian television.

Ektaa's K-serials are enthralling the television audience from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and from Porbandar to Kolkatta. You visit any respected middle-class Indian household during 7:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. and you will find atleast one member of the family glued to one of her K-serials. The only other exception which I can think apart from K-serials which unites my diverse country is cricket. For her invaluable service, Ektaa Kapur must be rewarded with the "National Integration" trophy.

She is also single handedly keeping the social fabric intact. Beacuase of her, so many marriages are still intact. Most of the female members of the family are now busy watching K-serials, when their husbands return from work. This is the time when most of the husband-wife fighting used to happen. Ektaa has miraculously solved this problem. No more quarrels. Peaceful co-existence and in many cases revival of love where both husband and wife enjoy K-serials together. No need to visit marriage counsellors, if your married life is going through turbulent times. Just watch Ektaa Kapur serials and your problem is solved.

Her daily soaps are also great stress buster. That's my own experience. I used to watch K-serials after a hard and gruelling day in office when I was working in Mumbai. There is no need to use your brains. No need to remember anything. No need to worry if you have missed 15 episodes. My aunty used to explain me everything in 4 minutes.

Despite all this, Ektaa's critics don't miss a single chance to demean her work. But, the selfless lady is so dignified in her behavior, she takes all the criticism in her stride. All those Ektaa Kapur bashers should be hanged. Not just hanged, should be tortured till they accept Ektaa as the only saviour of the nation.