January 22, 2006

jose without josh by jose

The second draft of this episode says, will mehul and gauravbhai ever get married. But, i think forget about mehul and gauravbhai, even ranjit will not get married and do you know why? well, it is because they are so lazy that they do not have the energy, even to wink at a girl. so, just leave alone getting married. hahahahehehehe.For the time been i am leaving Mehul, Gaurav and Ranjit to their fate. Today, i have one beautiful poem written by a wonderful poet who, like you and me, loved laziness and sunned work. Of the various poems that he wrote, I wish to share one poem that touched my heart. I know, I know, saalo thu logo ko malum hai, per sale, yeah mai thum logo ke liye nahi, pur un sub lazy buts ke liye hai jo by mistake be es page per ajaye tho, they should not leave disappointed. So, guys here we go……….


What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep and cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

W. H. Davis

Well, guys, tomorrow or the next time i will come i shall have a poem written by me. it a love song and so mehul and gauravebhai will find it interesting while bio-waste and ranjit may boo it. but, who cares, its booooooooooooooooo back to who booooooooooos my poem.

# posted by RobRoy2006 @ 5:31 AM 0 comments

posted by jose on his lazy blog

January 12, 2006

Episode one

two lazy fellows started their journey for a special cause ... that will be revealed later on.The episode started on 2nd jan 2006 ya it was a new year eve.After celebrating new year ...that was also a fuss, I don't want to disclose may be I will blog it later, but the events which i am going to describe are very interesting(for the readers) and hilarious, but for us these events were torturous as well as enjoyable mixed with compulsion and confusion. On the 2nd of jan 2006 at 10 pm we two lazybones nearly missed the train. When we arrived at the railway station the train was about to leave, but we two courageous fellows like army commandos without any difficulty and hesitation boarded on the train."Thank god" was our voice inside. We were very relaxed and happy to be in the train on time. But this happy moment did not last long, soon we discovered that we had boarded on a wrong train. The train had started rolling and was gaining momentum ,we were aghast...what to do ? No ...we are brave souls, "we will have to jump", we decided ...."but this could be risky " We thought.... no we have to do it after all we are brave souls" finally we decided . "you jump first and catch the luggage"( it was a bag nothing more) said one brave soul and the other followed the instruction .....one ,two, three,.....jump yapeee ,take this and here i junp...the other also plunged(not exaggerating) from the door of the coach. Only the good thing was we were on our legs and senses. But tried to find out what went wrong. Actually, it was not a major mistake, the train which we had to catch was Pune-Indore shanti exp , but the train on which we had mistakenly climbed-up was Indore-Pune shanti express, but was it not our fault ,it was the fault of railway department which has scheduled both the trains Up and Down to arrive at the station , same time; our train was standing on the other platform. we then boarded on right train we made it sure by asking several fellow passengers and TC of that train. We had waiting ticket, in India we have right to board on reserved compartment, even if we don't have confirmed reservation. So we randomly climbed up in a compartment which we thought was less crowded, but soon we found that we were the only ones who did not have seat to sit or lie down. But who cares, we after talking with TC who expressed his helplessness in providing us a seat,we took out our tools from the bag, (bed sheet and blanket) we spread the bed sheet on the floor near by the toilet room and covered ourself with the blanket. The train called shanti express as my friend rightly points out, how shanti and express can exist together, started off its endeavour. Just after leaving the station she started showing her real character, it stopped after running for 10 minutes and haulted for half an hour.This trend continued through out the journey. She haulted more, rolled less. Her old, weary disel engine, was screaming and crying ; the scream was horrifying. Any way she took 12 hours instead of usual 8 hours to complete the journey....never mind ,for indian railways it is not a big thing. Now, we were standing at a place where we had never visited before.But it looked familier to us , as all big or small indian cities are more or less are similar. We arrieved there at 10 am immediately we thought we should move towards our final destination that was DHARNAGRI, in short DHAR, the land where once legendary king Raja BHOJ ruled. we were exited to see the city ,which has a beautiful and glorious history. We decided to catch a bus to Dhar as no railway station exist there. We hired a autorickshaw, reached bus stand, on the way we bought a quarter gin to refresh ourself. At bus stand we mixed it with mineral water, drank it slowly on our way to Dhar. Few of our foreign friends, probably from japan, riding with us, got frighten when they discovered that we were drinking liquor, but my friend by staring at them made them more frightened.
next arrival at Dhar..................

January 10, 2006

Images -Dhar

finally arrived in dhar after journey of a million miles

city of raja bhoj and pictures taken by gangutalis

shahjaha was here and after that tajmahal was there

idiots around

nature calling

end of day and a new dawn

January 06, 2006

Main aur mere lazybhai.

i am a man from 7th 8th or 9th century,as rightly mentioned by my dear friend....but i dont understand why he has used "secret" word so many times; i think that is also a secret....baba is our inspiration, so is ME(mount everest) or ET (Extra terrestrial).Both are unique in this world...how? simple, both do not belong to this contemprory world. They are much ahead in their thinking from modern man and much slow in their their actions.... in fact they believe no action is best action... they are not moving, but they are sitting on the lap of the GOD, so they are protected and moving , other wise their movement is impossible...what to say about saboo he is most productive man in producing un-productive things....thanks other wise this world would have become a heaven................................................................... for devils...he belongs to special race or caste called "LAZY-WASI" just coined by me,but created by god ten thousand years back.

January 01, 2006

Dil dhundta hai phir wahi .....

happy new year to all my lazy friends and our babadom followers,
but we are indifferent to everything around,
still i think something has changed this new year,
what is changed is still a secret as we don't know and lazy enough to try to know,
but still this new year we must promote laziness-original mantra of our lives,
as nothing has happened and nothing will happen this year too,
and we don't even have good enough brains to know what can be changed,
and this year too our body is not going to accept any information coming from our brains via our lazy nervous system,
and it is a great secret why we are the way we are,
but we are lazy enough to care about that too,
we should have a promotional offer here to post something,
as this is a one message typed after so many years of gap and that too after thinking about it for 1000 years,
may be that is a beauty of this system and our blog that blogger also support lazy people like us,
we are luck enough that we are indians but who cares,
once upon a time there was a man in a city called baroda,
now people call him baba and why they call him baba is still a secret,
who started this chain reaction,
but we are lazy enough as i said before or may be we are super-lazy so we dont care who started this chain reation,
now i dont know if that is an open secret,
but i know i am going to forget with in 2 minutes what i wrote or should type typed,
there must be a great supporting system behind our atmas,
because we think that we are so lazy that it is a secret (misunderstanding) that how we came on the face of this blue planet,
i must curse those fellow sperms who pushed me forward,
and still i type in terms of THINK because that is the only thing that we can do,
even thinking is painful these days as i came to know about how much calories burns when you think,
surprisingly 1.5 k,
that is too much for a weak man like me and i must not support thinking from now on,
but than what we will do,
stop thinking,
that is even more difficult as to stop thinking again we have to think about stop thinking,
stop thinking,
and now as i am alone here in cybercafe with one of my friend from 9th century and a cybercafe operator (understood) from 69th century ( sex deprived, that too understood) I cannot think any more,
today I knew how easy it is to surf porn on internet,
and still it is useless as I dont have time to understand what is porne,
cafe operators dont allow this thing in the morning and I come to this cafe at night only so .... ,
but who cares porne or no porne,
as we all three here are so lazy,
here comes two more boys in cafe ( repressed-sex, understood) from boys campus,
they dont work in the night and still they can come here in cafe after midnight thanks to an open secret,
but how lazy people can support porne I dont understand (understood, no brain),
now I dont want to talk junk anymore so something serious,
but I dont know what really is serious,
as for last so many centuries I dont even have acted that way,
long time,
poor remembrance,
so anyone here can help me help me out as I want to know the secret behind this beautifully and horribly ugly word 'serious',
but as I know no one visit this blog for months and years and sometimes centuries I dont know whethere I will get any help from this,
but you can contact me via telepathy also as I have some psychic powers (common among lazy people),
but I dont remember about what power I have so I dont care about it nowadays,
but still if you have same power you can contact me and can wake my power again after years of boredom,
today I have time as always may be that is the only thing I have,
still I can type today for long hours as a man from 9th century dont talk about moving anywhere and is still busy learning internet,
baba is also addicted to internet now,
strange but true,
he always talks online (*online kaab aa rahe ho*),
few people on internet wont be able to understand that because that is in hindi but dont care to or even try to learn hindi as there are trilllions of hindi speakers in india,
but that is also such a boring thing like talking about such junk,
now I wont talk about junk again (this time I am sure),
now I always receive sms with that line in the message,
*online kaab aa rahe ho*,
but lazy people (here in baroda) don't earn money and it is very difficult to earn money (outside baroda) as you people know,
still we till the last penny in my pocket I will go there and will chat for endless hours with a friend of mine a man called baba,
as he is the only hopefull case (*case*) among all the babas,
*case* is also a hindi word so don't try to know about how that is hindi and who started speaking and invented or may be discovered this great word (of course he himself must be a *case*),
and how for last one hour I am typing and making noise inside this cafe now I want to smoke as my friend from 8th century don't even talk about moving any where,
he is in meditation,
non-dynamic ofcourse as he dont know how to type,
but that is the beauty of that man from 7th century (sorry poor memory 7th,8th,9th century),
it doesn't make any difference at all as from 7th or 8th or 9th,
now let me smoke and than I will be here again after t0 typein rest of the shit inside my mind,
and I will sms one of my friend and will try to know if there is some other shit to type here in this blog as I want to make this blog more boring,
now I feel even better as I know someone from other planet some ET (so called) must have invented smoking,
no one on the face of the earth is intelligent enough to invent such a beautiful and divine thing,
clear pleasure,
utter meaningless smoke,
not I want to talk something serious ( again ha ha ha)
ha ha ha is not an english word that is common all around the world in all languages,
and harsh use it more than anyone else on earth,
lucky man,
now as I love nature I want to talk about a mountain,
now my friends understand and my friends only understand what I want to talk or about whom I am talking about,
gaurishankar as in hindi,
but that is not a mountain,
I want to talk about a real mountain and everest is just a tip of that mountain (no kidding here),
if you can understand what I am talking about don't try to reveal the secret,
that mountain is located in baroda near kalubhai's lari infront of polytechnique campus,
and after 9pm in the morning you can meet that mountain there,
9pm is morning here around polytechnique campus ( early morning),
and he talks about everything and everyone,
no prejudice,
yes he is a living mountain and moving too,
but moves only inside baroda,
no prejudice again,
and he is more intelligent than everest and he knows everything about everything and even try to know more things,
knowledge is divine as he always try to know about everything unproductive,
unproductiveness is also a secret behind lazy people,
common and open secret,
if we don't support unproductive things than what we will do for rest of our lives because we have only one thing,
and to use that we must have to support all unproductive things and I take pledge to support all unproductive things for rest of my life,
someone's comedy is others tragedy,
now I can type-in his name as everyone knows him and we don't have any secrets here,
the one and only,
greater than the greatest mountain on earth,
moving and friendly to everyone who comes to kalubhai's lari,
supportive and talkative,
good listener,
here comes a man on his ET bike and ET helmet,
more intelligent than ETs (no prejudice again and again and again),
please welcome,
Ranjeet Singh,
now again I go out of the cafe as now I have to pee,
just have to go now so will type everything else after I pee. ......... . ........ .. ........ ........,
haah now I feel relaxed,
peeing was not invented by someone from other planet or it is not divine also unless you dont find any urinal around (urinals are ofcourse divine),
as peeing is very natural,
if all of india pee at the same time and we reprocess all the pee (peeing is also a process so reprocess) we can solve all the water problems all around india,
but who cares,
now those two porne jokers are moving out of the cafe I have more free space here and now spacebar is also tired,
boobla boobla,
they are divine people who talk endlessly about such crap like boobla boobla,
and as man from 9th century don't talk about moving I must have to type more crap evenif my fingers are crying,
fingers also cry and so do I whenever I see french fries,
how fools all around the world eat such a stupid things like french fingers,
anyway I am lucky enough that I am around this beautiful place called kismat dhaba in vasad,
only few kilometers of walk at midnight from baroda,
such a beautiful place and such a divine experience,
after such a long time,
my friend from 6th century want to move,
he just told me chale mitra,
and that is such an ugly thing,
how such a great man like him can talk about such a crap word like "moving",
as I want to type and want to make more bakwash but I have to move now,
such an ugly thing,
anyway will tell you about such great things and great people later,
but still I want to tell you one thing,
as I have used blogger spell check still there are 100000000 spelling mixtakes(1000 here or there),
please co-operate,
salam namastee.