Reading and 'Self' distruction

i am back again with the salt and spice of phursatgunj. 'self' distruction is my passion and few packs of foursquare a day helps me to attain the goal. phursatgunj is full of people who believe in self distruction some or the other way, and kalubhai is the greatest of them all. it seems as if rain will never stop this season. i was busy reading the holy quran in the morning when nikhil told me to lit a cigi. now i read all kind of ebooks as i dont have money to buy hardcopies. i am reading a few of them alltogether. eleven minutes by paulo is a good one. umesh has a hardcopy of that book and i will try to get the one as soon as possible. i am also reading zeher by paulo. thought my understanding is not very profound but i have all the time in the world to kill time so i read. it also helps me to save money. whenever i move outside my sardarnagar kholi i have to smoke and T, so i prefer to stay inside and read all kind of ebooks. subject doesnt matter much as long as it helps me to kill time. in last few years during my stay in phursatgunj i have read more than 2000 books and still going on strongly. thank god that i dont have a good memory otherwise i would have gone mad just by reading all those books. my understanding is also very poor so i have to read the same line again and again, and it also helps me to kill time again and again. now i have developed a new style of reading, very unique. now i read one page from a book and than one from another and the cycle goes on and on untill i come back to the first book which i have started reading. this method helps me to understand how all books and scriptures in the world is nothing but rubbish. i started doing this with 3 or 4 books at a time but now i read atleast 10 books simultaneously. someday i will stop reading and than will never read or write anything my whole life and i know that is going to happen. sooner or later. my passion for reading is also a part of the bigger and yet important goal of self distruction. when i was a child i had a dream that someday i will be able to read all the books in the world written and spoken about. but now i think it is nothing but all timepass to read and write and i am not very much interested in either. i stroke this keys on the keyboard mindlessly because i dont have anything to do and have all time in the world. reading is divine as far as you dont do it to gain knowledge or try to understand what is written. what is written is written and it is past now, just dont try to interpret and you are creative.

today i shall try to visit our osho meditation centre at karelibaug. dynamic meditation is designed for young and energetic but i will try to imitate 60 year old youth of baroda. they come to centre because they dont have to do anything in the morning and i go to the centre because after dynamic meditation i can enjoy free tea and a good long sleep at sardarnagar kholi. few people in phursatgunj is now interested in dynamic meditation and want to go to the centre with me, few initial shocks will be enough for them to quit even before they begin. i dont care. they come or they dont. now i have to go back to sardarnagar kholi. i have to finish the first chapter of the holy quran, al bakaraah - the cow before i go into bed. will be back soon.

long live laziness. long live brotherhood.