August 22, 2006

my secret diaries.

sardarnagar kholi.
7:30 pm in the morning, August 21.

as the pale yellow sun emitted the first rays of light we were busy discussing what crows are talking about.they were also busy discussing ya-ya, na-na and kra-kra. i, umesh and chintan were there at kamatibaug early in the morning. i dont have to explain everytime that it was a beautiful monday morning and what birds were doing. it is a universal truth, birds are alwasy happy especially crows. they were also busy thinking-what this fools are doing here at 5.a.m. chokidar looked at our faces with both doubt and surety. doubt that we were not there for morning walk and surety that either way he was not concerned. his glance was enegmatic. after two full hours of ha-ha, he-he we came out and were on the roads of phursatgunj. this days phursatgunj looks like switzerland plus mud minus flowers. i was busy reading all the inscriptions on the wlls of EME temple later in the morning. they all were nothing but the numbers. 10th century, 8th century, 11th century. as i dont have anything to do i do such things which keep me busy and away from thinking. i read numbers and imagined why they are so many in numbers and how they communicate with each other. i walked a lot, joked a lot inside the EME temple though it is dangerous. all the time in the world and no money is a deadly combo. what am i doing this days? i take one full hour to dress myself, i study occult arts, read alvin toffler, explain what is siddhartha-the novel to umesh, take an hour to lock my room, a full one hour to finish a cuppa tea, listen to music, watch movies, and still i have so much time left after a full 12 hour of daily sleep. so just to kill time i decided that i should have an ablusion today, a long one. this was my first bath after the independance of india so i obviously prepared for it, bought a shampoo pouch and paper soap. it was indeed a great timepass inside so called bathroom at sardarnagar. it took me two hours to unload myself as i was gravid with my thoughts and good long bath forced the miscarriage of all my thoughts.

all the debris in my room at sardarnagar is now in great harmony. if you try to move a single thing and everything is going to collapse. burden on economy is now grave. inflation is uncontrolable and out of my control. my jeans and t-shirt never complain why i throw them like rubbish. i have everything in my room, everything a cheap aristocrate can afford. my room is more like an inn, people coming and going, leaving garbage behind and i dont care to move it. a cheap aristocrat can afford a bunch of CDs, a broken walk-man, all kind of bags and plastic bags and cases and suitcases and carrybags which he never uses, empty flavoured milk bottles, semi-empty ash trays, a bottle of water, insects, a reptile moving around the walls, books and magazines, a mobile phone and charger, earth pot, nightlamp which he cannot use, pillows, a lock and few thousand keys, grey-brown bed sheets, a pinhole camera, empty and full matchboxes, used match sticks scattered all around the room, sugar, salt, biscuits, wrappers of kurkure and parle-G, toothbrush he rarely use, few pens and notebooks, a set of audio-cassettes, ubuntu, tusnamica doll, chair and table, chess board and pieces, shoes and laces, carbon dioxide with a tint of oxygen, suffocation, and lot more.

my god, i am not a very possessive man but look at the things i have. most of this things are useless just like me, but i am so lazy to stand up and throw those things out of my room. i dont even need 0.005% of them all together. but that is cheao aristocracy after all.

now as i feel like tea i have to move my ass and should go to kalubhai's. i cup of tea plus four square is all that enlightens me at sacred place. they are like prasada. i hope umesh would be there on time so we can discuss all sort of nonsense and our near future. ha-ha, he-he and our evenings pass with joy and bliss, god bless us all. my mobile also needs some charging now but i will look after that some other time as i am in hurry, ha ha. today again i am going to watch the movie forrest gump for the fourth time in last fortnight. i shall tell you people about this great movie but some other time. i have to make a move now. bye.

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