My blogging streak continues thanks to my friend's laptop and abundance of time. As many of my closest friends know, I am suffering from many phobias. The most notable amongst them is examphobia. I am 28, happly unmarried and an accomplished (don't take it seriously) journalist. Still, the fear of failing in exams returns night after night. The genesis of this fear can be traced back to my engineering days.
Till my higher secondary days, I was a very sincere student. When I was in 10th standard, I used to think that I have it in me to be amongst the top 10 students in my state. It's a different matter that it never happened. But, I was very confident about my abilities in those days. My confidence reduced from top 10 to top 1000 by the time I reached 12th standard. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got admission in one of the best engineering colleges of my state. And the downhill journey began...
Exam after exam I continued to fail. The fear of facing exams became intense with each passing year. It took me six long and painful years to complete engineering. The memories of those paniful days still linger. My confidence was at an all-time low in those days. The fear reduced a bit when I joined journalism. However, the wounds never healed completely.
Just a night before, I had a nightmare. I am in the 12th standard. I haven't yet started preparing for my maths exam. All my friends have completed the entire course. It's a hopeless situation and I am destined to fail. My heart starts beating fast. That familiar pain and anxity revisits. Suddenly I woke up from my sleep and after 2 minutes I realised it was a dream. I remember I cleared maths exams in 12th standard some 10 years ago with decent numbers.
I am now working and no longer need to face any exam unless I decide to change my job. This is one of the professional hazards of being a journalist. Every time, you try for some job, you are asked to give a test. This is one of the reasons I don't like to change my job in a hurry.
Till my higher secondary days, I was a very sincere student. When I was in 10th standard, I used to think that I have it in me to be amongst the top 10 students in my state. It's a different matter that it never happened. But, I was very confident about my abilities in those days. My confidence reduced from top 10 to top 1000 by the time I reached 12th standard. Somehow, by the grace of God, I got admission in one of the best engineering colleges of my state. And the downhill journey began...
Exam after exam I continued to fail. The fear of facing exams became intense with each passing year. It took me six long and painful years to complete engineering. The memories of those paniful days still linger. My confidence was at an all-time low in those days. The fear reduced a bit when I joined journalism. However, the wounds never healed completely.
Just a night before, I had a nightmare. I am in the 12th standard. I haven't yet started preparing for my maths exam. All my friends have completed the entire course. It's a hopeless situation and I am destined to fail. My heart starts beating fast. That familiar pain and anxity revisits. Suddenly I woke up from my sleep and after 2 minutes I realised it was a dream. I remember I cleared maths exams in 12th standard some 10 years ago with decent numbers.
I am now working and no longer need to face any exam unless I decide to change my job. This is one of the professional hazards of being a journalist. Every time, you try for some job, you are asked to give a test. This is one of the reasons I don't like to change my job in a hurry.
Nice thoughts and articles dear. I'm realy enjoying it...
ReplyDelete--AryanSoft Inc. - u better know
Hi Dear,
ReplyDeleteNo harm in failing exams. failures are steping stones for success.
I was a avg student, but am in a far better position then top ten in my class professional.
U r company will be happy to know u r in no haste to change u r job, since retaining people r becoming difficult now a days.
what's the harm in failing BTW? are you goin to die?
ReplyDeleteand i think i know the last anon commentrer. it's the motu in your room right? the scoundrel's lap top you use.
i can understand your fear.
ReplyDeletehappy days are here again. finally my net connection is up and running.
In those days when I was afraid to face exams, one of my friends said, " Exam koi kumbh ka mela nahi hain jo barah saal main ek bar aata hain. Saal main do bar aati hain. Agli bar de dena." This helped me a lot to alleviate my pain.
ReplyDeleteAlso, once my father said, "You are like a goods train which stops at every station. But, don't worry. Take your time, just reach your destination (complete your studies)." This reduced my tension considerably.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha...This post has been removed by the author. I'm loving it. Thank you blogger. Except you nobody else calls me an author.
ReplyDeleteexams are huge burden for the society. Because of exams economy suffers. We took lot of years to clear few exams at the expense of our financer, who never expected return. staggering(in exams) students are like sick public sector units the investment on them is bound to be drowned.
ReplyDeleteFailing in exams have many positives. It offers an opportunity to enjoy a lot of free time and see the other side of life. This helps a lot in your personal growth. No need to do those "personality development" classes. Just fail in exams and a new vibrant personality will emerge.
ReplyDeleteJiggubhai, how are you? How's life? No news from your side for a long time. Thanks for your encouragement.
ReplyDelete